Hello Fear!!

This is by no means original, but I was listening to Kirk Franklin’s new cd, “Hello Fear”, and this kind of came to me. Its an Open letter. Some of you will be able to relate. I pray that you’re blessed regardless.

 

Hello Fear,

 

We are well acquainted. By some accounts, you’ve been the one constant friend that I could always count on in my lifetime. Sure, you’ve conspired against me, but because I allowed it, I don’t hold you responsible. All of the regrets that I have in my life all sit and laugh at me now, because I listened to you instead of my better judgment. I think its funny that while I’ve known you since birth, I learned more about you in church than I ever wanted to. Even when I would try to grow in God and defeat you, you were always right there in my ear, or with a hand draped around my shoulder whispering. Why do you always whisper? Sheesh. I hate it! Couldn’t you just speak in a audible voice for once? I’m not going to blame you for my foolish decisions, because in those times, when I wanted to do wrong, you were never there to discourage any of those actions. The only time that I can really say that I hear you is when I want to do something that I know God wants me to do. Which brings me to the reason why I’m writing you.

 

You make me sick. The way that you make me feel about myself makes me physically ill. And since I know from God’s word that you are not a gift from Him, I’m deciding today that I no longer desire your friendship. All of your doubting, negative whispers, I’m done with them. All of your brilliantly conceived schemes to keep me as I am, and prevent me from being who God wants me to be, I’m done with em. I had hoped that you might outgrow my company and move on to bigger and better things, but since you haven’t gotten a clue yet, I guess I’ll have to man up and kick you out.

 

See, if I didn’t want to be something, or do things for God, I could probably live out my life with you as my best man. But, I see more clearly than ever before that it is my fears that have kept me from hearing God and being fully obedient. Its my fear of rejection that has kept me from reaching out to people. Its my fear of rejection and failure that has kept me from hearing God concerning teaching. Its my fear of living that has kept me bottled up. Dude, I’m seeing all of this now and its making me angry with myself for even putting up with you all of these years. I have enough of my own mess to deal with. I don’t need you casting an even more negative view of me onto me. Besides, God sees me in a light that I’m convinced you just don’t have eyes to see me in.

 

Whereas you see me as this weak, unsure, feeble minded, unwanted “man”, God sees me as redeemed. He sees me as His adopted, chosen, blessed, and righteous son! He sees me for who He created me to be, strong, decisive, liberated, gifted, and available for His use. You’ve kept me bottled up, “friend”. Its time for me to live. Its time for me to move past existing on the outskirts and to move dead center to God’s will and see what my life becomes. While I have no idea what’s waiting for me there, I am 100% sure that it’s infinitely more than what you have in store for me.

 

God says that perfect love cast out all fear. I can think of no more perfect love than He who IS Love. He died and shed blood so that I would not be afflicted by you and your kind. He was beaten for my freedom, yet I’ve only ventured steps outside of my own cell because of you. No more. Life is for the living. Fear has no place anymore. YOU have no place anymore. Farewell, goodbye, so long.

 

Fact is, the days are growing short. I can no longer afford to be in fear of what I’m not, or fear of what I could be, fear of where I’ll end up, or fear of what I might or might now accomplish. My life is not my own, and I willingly give it up for God to be glorified in it. Call me weak if you want, but it is in Him that I realize what true strength is. Basically, dude, you’ve gotta bounce because I’ve got work to do. No time for your mess.

 

And by the way, I have other friends out there who will be having this same conversation with you in the near future. I’m just warning you that you are going to be experiencing rejection quite a bit, very soon. God is liberating his people by His Spirit! Its coming as a cleansing Rain, and a purifying fire. You’ve got to go! So, let me say this in closing

 

“In the name of Jesus, God I thank you for the liberty that is in you. I thank you that we don’t have to live in fear, if we are truly called by Your Holy Name. God, I pray that right now you would begin breaking the chains of fear that have held Your people back for so long. I pray that fear of rejection and any other type would be cast away and replaced by your Spirit of freedom. God, I pray that you would help your Body to live as you intended. I pray that no more would we be engulfed in darkness and captivity. You sent Your Son so that we might walk in peace, joy, and newness of life. Release it anew as a fire in our hearts. I ask, and thank you in advance for performing Your word in our midsts. Thank you, Father”

 

Goodbye Fear. My Father is escorting you out as we speak.

 

Until next time, be blessed!

 

I think, He Knows

A thought came to me this morning while I was ironing clothes. I was in the midst of half praying- half thinking about the decision that I’ve made to switch careers. When I think about it, I see a daunting task before me, and it frightens me. It will require faith like I had to have when we moved away from home, and in some ways, probably more, because this career change is one that is foreign to me. As I was praying, self doubts arose. I could hear myself questioning myself and my ability to be successful. Its so funny how doubt completely tries to erase God from the equation. So, let me get a little more specific here.

 

I come from a long line of teachers; on both sides of my family. Maybe for that reason, I never gave teaching a thought. In college, my mom really wanted me to get a degree in English, so that I could be able to find a good job right out of college.  I didn’t want to teach. I wanted to be a musician. So, I majored in vocal performance. Now, there is stark irony to be found here, but I’ll address that later. Upon graduating, I was presented with a great possibility. I was offered a position as choral director for a prestigious school in MS. I respectfully declined, because I didn’t want to teach, I was afraid that I didn’t know what I was doing, and any other excuse you could think of. Next, a vocal coaching position came available at a new school for the arts in the area. Again, I declined respectfully, again citing all of my fears and excuses.

 

We moved to Missouri because of a job that I took. A year later, I was laid off. At that time, teaching came to mind. Then a few weeks later, I had a new HR job. A year later, that HR job fizzled out. Teaching came to mind. I was actually gonna do it. Then a week later, a new HR job came about. Now, understand that in my mind, I was thinking that God wanted me to stay in HR and not teach. I heard God clearly tell me to get my MBA in HR Management, and I believe fully that had I not been obedient, we would not be where God wants us location-wise. But, I believe that I became comfortable in that avenue, and believed that God would bring me success and a career, not to mention financial gain, in the business world. However, the more I sit in HR, with each successive stop, I’ve come to realize that I don’t want just a job. It is my belief that God has a career for all of us that utilizes our passions, a place where we fit. However, I’m just now coming to this realization. Lol. This is where the story gets interesting.

 

2 weeks ago, during prayer at church on Wednesday night, I asked for prayer concerning my direction for life. The brother who prayed for me specifically prayed that God would reveal his will and direction for my life through my spouse and through speaking to me as well. The next day, I began getting emails from my wife. These emails were directly addressing me and my flirts with teaching. She was asking if I was still going to enroll in the program for alternative certification. When I got home and was cooking dinner, she sat in the kitchen and grilled me the entire time. I sensed so much aggressiveness in her. And if you know my wife, she’s not that way usually. So, I really took notice because I felt like it was really God speaking through her directly to me in response to my prayers. The end conclusion was that God was right (duh), teaching is where God wants me.

 

Will I be a good teacher? I have no idea. Will I be able to find a job? My natural mind has no clue, but my faith says that if God has called me to it, then He is working everything out behind the scenes. I still have my fears, but this morning God spoke to me clearly and concisely. He basically said, “Don’t focus on who you think you are. Believe in who I KNOW you are.” Now, to me that spoke volumes. It also brought a verse to mind. Jeremiah 29:11…”For I know the plans that I have for you, says the Lord…” This is one of the verses in the Bible that really sticks fast in my heart. I may not always remember the exact chapter and verse, but this verse is “my” verse if that makes any sense. I identify with this verse, because I’m not a big planner. Even when I try to plan, I fail miserably. So, for me to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God has plans, and that He is ordering my steps, even in my fear and hesitation, it’s a great comfort. That God would speak such words of comfort to me in my “freak out” moments just shows me how much He loves me and how much he desires me to see myself with the same eyes that He views me with.

 

Don’t focus on who you think you are. Believe in who I know you are. Doesn’t this make amazing sense? The Creator of all things knows things about us that it would take us years to find out about ourselves. Why not trust in His definition, rather than what we only think we know. Many times, the very things that we think about ourselves are born out of our experiences, our fears, our doubts. But the very things that God knows about us are things that He planted within us when we were created. He knows every nook and cranny. He sees our dark spots and our lights spots. He sees us. He knows us. He defines us. He defines me. And I have to be confident that the God who knows me, and has good plans for me, who thinks good thoughts towards me, will enable me to be a success in whatever He calls me to do. Regardless of my age, my story is not over. It’s being written. God knows. I only think.

 

This has been a different kind of blog, more personal. But I believe that some of you reading this are facing the same issues that I am. Fear for the future, or even for the present. God wants to move you and me past our fears. He wants to move us past self confidence and self reliance. Its time that we rest in what God knows, and who God is, and jump out of the boat. Faith doesn’t merely say. Faith does. And perhaps just as importantly, faith is outwardly focused. Faith is focused on God, not us. In return, God showers the benefits of that faith inwardly, as our faith grows and intensifies.

Anyway, you all be blessed.

 

 

 

 

Mercy

God’s Love. God’s Justice. God’s Mercy. God’s Grace. God’s Goodness. As I have blogged the last couple of times, we are talking about the Beatitudes from Matthew 5 in our current church series. Happy are those who are merciful, for they shall be shown mercy (Matt 5:7). I actually missed this week’s sermon, but I understand that it was a powerful  one, focusing on putting mercy into action through showing compassion. We define mercy as God giving not giving us what we deserve. So for instance, due to our sin, we deserve a finite death, yet in His mercy, God has granted us a chance at life everlasting. Little did I know that God would demonstrate his ultimate love and mercy so soon.

 

On Monday night, I was made aware that one of our church members had been in a terrible head on collision headed to do some ministry work. Now, in my eyes, she was not just an ordinary “church member”. Nychelle was a Christian in every since of the word. It oozed from her pores. She was all about Jesus. She wanted to be a missionary to Brazil. To watch her and her family worship, it puts you in the mindset of being in the throne room. There have been many times that I have watched them from the stage, and been amazed at the work that God has done and is doing in their spiritual lives. I’ve likened it to building an enduring house of faith that begun with a work done in the Dad and Mom, then it became a consuming fire in the children. But, Nychelle was an amazing young lady. Her fervent love for Jesus and His work was physically evident. I, as well as many others, appreciated that fact. Now, I speak in the former status because Nychelle is no longer with us. She passed from this life late Monday night from injuries sustained in the accident. I can remember when we first heard about the accident, my wife and I prayed for her healing and restoration. We prayed for her veins and arteries, and for platelets to do what they were supposed to do and stop the internal bleeding. I remember my last words being, God let your will be done, but please God, heal her! We went to bed that night, and the next morning upon waking, I saw that I had missed a phone call from a friend. I instantly knew. My wife checked FaceBook and it was confirmed. We cried separately, then we cried together, and then we prayed together while we cried. I checked FB often yesterday morning, looking at the pictures and sentiments being expressed. My heart broke for her family. At times yesterday, the feeling was overwhelming. Then God spoke to me.

 

This is not a eulogy. I’m not qualified for one of those. I’m just expressing some sentiment. We pray for healing so many times. And then when the healing doesn’t occur as we see it, we ask God why? That is the inevitable question. While I never outright asked God why, my tears did, as have the tears of many of our church family over our loss. Then I felt God saying to me that He had healed her and restored her completely as we have prayed. The more I thought about it, the more I began to marvel at how amazing God truly is. The verse speaking of how His ways are not our ways came flooding into my mind. We prayed for Nychelle’s healing, and God healed her. He healed her completely and restored her broken body by calling her unto Him. I don’t know any details of her physical condition, but I have to think that God knew things that we didn’t about maybe what her quality of life might have been had she survived. In his love for her, he took her home, gave her a glorious body, and welcomed her. Mercy. God was so merciful in this instance. His overwhelming compassion for her. It moved me to tears as I thought about it earlier this morning.

Happy are those who are merciful for they shall receive mercy. If mercy is not giving us what we deserve, then I would venture to guess that we all have opportunities to show mercy…everyday. Who are we to deny anyone mercy when we who call ourselves Christians realize how completely merciful God has been towards us. He has allowed us a choice, life or death. He has told us that we can choose to accept His love, or accept eternity away from Him. Yet His mercy goes further than our choice. He reaches out to us at every corner. In dreams, through others, He is always calling us by His great love and mercy, to come to Him before His justice is unleashed upon the earth. It is not His will that any should perish without knowing Him, but that all would come to the saving knowledge of who Christ is, which can only be revealed by the Holy Spirit.

 

God’s mercy and love took Nychelle into His arms and carried her away to wholeness, to rest. And while her life may have been short by our standards, the lives that she touched while she was here will make sure that her life will age in the spirit through means way more meaningful that physical birthdays could ever be. She left a legacy. She did with her allotted time what God intended for her to do, and that’s all God asks of any of us. And we who are left to ponder these things, we must ask ourselves if we are being as responsible with our own allotted breaths and heart beats. Oh give thanks unto the Lord for He is good, and His mercy endures forever! We will never be without His mercy, but at some point, we all will encounter His justice.

 

If we believe that being absent from the body is to be present with God, as Paul wrote, then we should rejoice through our grief. Happy are they that mourn for they will be comforted. I praise God that we have the Comforter in our midst. As we cry, He consoles. Eventually our wailing will turn into laughing, and out sorrow into joy. God’s grace and mercy dictates such. I just praise God for the testimony of Nychelle’s life, the relevance of His word, the real nature of His mercy, and the promise that we have in Him.

 

Rest in peace, Nychelle. Thank you for being a living epistle.

 

Be blessed, fam.

 

Snickers Satisfies (Nope!)

*Disclaimer: I meant to post this last week. lol*

 

Matthew 5:6 says, “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst after righteousness for they shall be filled.”

 

This was our message on Sunday, and the subject of our small group later that evening. While I don’t have anything profound to say about this verse, I do think about the hunger and thirst thing in my own life. There have been times in my life where I have been so hungry for God that all of my time was spent either fasting or reading or praying or worshipping. It was like I was drinking him in, yet even after getting full, I still felt the need to gorge myself more on His presence. Isn’t amazing how that happens? In the natural world, when we get full, our bodies will expel whatever else we seek to take in. But when we get full of God, our spirit body continues to be able to take more in? I think that’s cool. God created each of us with an unquenchable hunger and thirst that can only be filled by Him. But we fill that hunger and thirst with everything else. Its like our parent’s telling us that eating sweets before dinner ruins our appetite. It fills our stomachs only temporarily and too much of it is not good for us. Sweets in our spiritual life might be tv, or reading “Christian” books, or every other thing but God. They taste good going down, but soon we find ourselves either hungry again, or the “food” spoils in our stomachs and makes us sick. I also think about dieting, which I’ve tried to not the best results. My downfall is that I love a particularly amazing tasting flavor of potato chips. Now, I understand that in order to lose weight, you must reduce caloric intake, and chips are not the best way to accomplish this. If I go over my caloric intake then I can expect to gain weight, which is not the objective. In the same fashion, when we feast on other things aside from God too much, we gain weight and are not able to be as effective as God would have us to be in His service. We’ve gotta cut back on the chips! Lol!

 

So, we should be hungering and thirsting after God’s righteousness. There are so many definitions for righteousness out there. I tend to lean more toward the simple things that I can understand. For me, righteousness is just being right with God. Its not following specific religious practices, or adhering to doctrine that has existed in a church culture. It’s just being right with God, falling in line with His word, and thereby living in a way that accomplishes His will. I’ve never really been big on church traditions. I respect them, sure, but as far as patterning my life after them, it’s just never been my style. When I realized for myself that traditions can lead to self righteousness, I understood why it felt so foreign to me. God created us for his pleasure. To me, that means that we have an innate understanding of God’s desires, his law, and His word. Sin mutes that understanding, as well as our ability to perceive God as we were created to. The Pharisees and Sadducees were self righteous because they felt like their traditions were the best way to get to God. This blinded them to the truth of the Gospel that Christ worked feverishly to promote. Self righteousness is easily one of the biggest dangers to a Christian, but also to a non Christian. It blurs the lines of what is of Christ and what is of man. God has promised if we seek His righteousness, He will add everything else that we need and desire unto us, but His righteousness has to be the primary desire of our hearts. Now, seeking our own righteousness only leads to further deception and a wider chasm between our hearts and God’s hands. Self righteousness is a dangerous place to be.

 

To me, this verse really speaks of just getting back to God; letting God take us back to his intended state for us. Thinking about this, I know God placed Adam and Eve into the Garden and told him that they could eat of any fruit that they desired. I think that while they had bodily desires for food, I now believe that it’s possible that the food was nothing more than decoration for them. They enjoyed it, but they received their true nourishment and life sustainment from communing with God. I think that only after they were cast out of the Garden and God’s presence, they began to feel hunger for food as a kind of substitute for God’s direct presence in their lives. Now, don’t quote me. Don’t place me before a theologian. These are just my thoughts after hearing a message and discussing it, and just really thinking about it some more on my own. Whether that line of thinking is right or wrong, it still portends a fullness of appetite that is only possible through knowing and communing continually with Jesus Christ. He is our bread to eat, and our water to drink. When we realize this, we’ll understand that we don’t need anything else to get by except Him.